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Phenakistoscope

by howevever

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1.
I never did any wrong on purpose Never took advantage or manipulated If I did, it was an accident Never with any malice or ill intent You ignore my calls and I know it So I don't try it anymore I gave up on that a long time ago I never put into words that feeling Fireworks in the rain from the train tracks thinking "Is my judgement that far off? Could I not see my thinking for what it was?" Still, when I look back on what happened I don't feel sad anymore I decided that a long time ago And I don't mind being wrong As long as you know I know I'm wrong I know I'm wrong I know I'm wrong I've cut ties and I've tied loose ends Gonna turn these weaknesses into my strengths I'm gradually working my way up I'll make something of all of this freedom I've got But if I told everyone about it I wouldn't have to try anymore I discovered that a long time ago 'Cause I don't mind being wrong As long as you're watching me be wrong I know I'm wrong I know I'm wrong I know I'm wrong I know I'm wrong Dissect Your main-character complex Turns everything into a contest And it all comes across disingenuous Sometimes it's easier to care than to pretend to Learn your limitations and stick to them Soon enough you'll make friends that don't resent you Stick by them, do the same things they do And you'll do fine We'll catch better waves Wash away events of late And this time I won't Get in your way
2.
Beach Day 02:31
And when I get back home A phenakistoscope Plays for me underneath the living room lightbulbs And I'll hear as They ask me where I've gone I'll tell them what they need to know and nothing more June through January I've been missing Heard them calling for me I didn't listen Still and sedentary I know what I did's wrong I never meant to do you harm Wondered if we could move on Pretend it never happened And no one seemed to care Who I was or what I said 'Til my opinion differed from theirs And suddenly I mattered. Still and sedentary Blurry vision If I'm wrong, then tell me What to do different And when I get back home A phenakistoscope Plays for me underneath the living room lightbulbs And I'll hear as They ask me where I've gone I'll tell them what they need to know and nothing more
3.
Squirrel 03:00
I'm just a kid, couldn't care less About responsibility Want you to care what I think and Want you to like me Let's run through the sprinklers One last time please Want you to tell me your secrets That's what excites me Even under these living room lights The future seems pretty bright to me Squirrelling away our savings Gonna buy a beachfront house As many as the driveway pavings Those are the things I care about I'm not the kid I once was The kid that you loved me for But honey I'm still a child And honey that child is yours Let me tell you how I've planned it The places I'd like to live And if I'm not what you need Move on to someone that is There's someone out there for you I swear There's someone out there for you I swear And how lucky they'll be And how lucky they'll be Off a string of highs Looking down a staircase No right or left to follow Decision's already made Off a string of highs Looking down a staircase No right or left to follow Decision's already made
4.
We're all going nowhere Filling up on diuretics Butterfly clipped hair And a necklace with a ring on it That you keep to pretend you're someone's wife So I'll leave you alone And I get it, I don't like us either Sharp collarbones And a tendency to tangent But you can take me to the circle that you like Won't you tonight? And I'll follow you there My map won't lead us anywhere No oceans, roads or legends Just a grid of abstract colours And the town names have all faded into white Sickeningly sweet Yeah, these words rot your teeth Nouns and verbs but so few syllables Spoken like a toddler reads Sounding every vowel and consonant out loud And the tables have all turned against me now But if ever there's a time to let me try Won't you tonight? Tonight Won't you tonight? Tonight And if it's not today Don't worry I can wait I'm just like you And I'm poised for change You can watch this space I'm just like you And if it's not today Don't worry I can wait I'm just like you And I'm poised for change You can watch this space I'm just like you If it's not today Don't worry I can wait I'm just like you And I'm poised for change You can watch this space I'm just like you And if it's not today Don't worry I can wait I'm just like you And I'm poised for change You can watch this space I'm just like you
5.
I was devoured On my way back home Flew for eight hours Each six weeks long And in that month that I had left Before my age reset I slept In the clouded mountains In the monster's bile I drafted this message Could never get it quite right But when I pressed predictive text The sentence started making sense And I hit send So the words were not mine Won't you let me try again? As meteor showers Like raindrops fall I only saw my reflection In that stomach wall And the sound as metal pierced Through the atmosphere Deafened my ears And oh, her insides Were soft and warm It didn't stop my crying It never felt like home But the monster shed no tears She told me "life moves on my dear You're safe right here" But it's only you I want Day after month after year All's well that ends One way or another All's well that ends Without leaving me to wonder
6.
I know soon I'll be old Must be someone else's fault 'Cause I did all I could Trynna stay where I was, where I was Every year tippy-toes Like the waves on the coast Like the wind as it blows Hear it comes, there it goes There it goes I gotta get away from the adult world I gotta get away from the adult world I don't whinge anymore I don't outgrow my clothes I can sleep on my own With the bedroom door closed Door closed I don't miss my childhood home I've long since moved on Like the people I've known Here they come, there they go There they go I gotta get away from the adult world I gotta get away from the adult world I gotta get away from the adult world I gotta get away from the adult world
7.
Buzzwords 03:19
Buzzwords aren't worth the shapes Your lips make saying them everyday Do you feel it in your heart?

credits

released February 3, 2023

Thomas Baker performed and recorded the drums on Beach Day.

Elijah Henare assisted in the production of Beach Day, as well as writing and performing the electric guitar.

Imogen Lee performed some of the vocals on I'm Just Like You!

Everything else was written, performed, recorded, produced, mixed and mastered by Isaac Lee.

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howevever Perth, Australia

Humanising .wavs since a very long time

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